I am setting my intention to make Thursday a ritual day. A day where I perform one self care act without guilt. Today I did a facial steam and a clay mask. My skin is glowing and I feel renewed. How did you take care of yourself today?
I have been trying to push myself to try new things. Things that are hard or don't compute at first in my head. Take for instance these delicious cookies I made, no egg or egg replacing ingredients, how will it stick together? I thought about using an egg or flax and stopped myself. I trusted Heather, I had faith in her recipe. I am pleased with the results. I will admit to adding extra chocolate and substituting butter for coconut oil only because I didn't have any. My other adventure was trying a new yoga class, one that fit my schedule that I resisted thinking it would be too hard. The class is yoga for athletes which I am not. The class was hard, my legs were pushed and my balanced challenged. I was checking the clock after thirty minutes passed and my legs were burning and trembling. It was awesome, because I did not give up. I did it!! I am learning to trust that I can do amazing things. I will definitely do it again next week. Thank you to my fellow yogi who suggested I try it.
I am planning on having a great week. I find it helpful to make a list to help me stay focused. Otherwise I get distracted and never accomplish a thing!
This week I will:
•finish John Deere hat
•read a good book
•try a new recipe
•try Wednesday morning yoga class
•organize upstairs book shelves-- try my hardest to donate books we no longer read
"To feel keenly the poetry if a mornings roses, one has to have just escaped from the claws of this vulture which we call sickness."
---Henri Federic Amiel
I am grateful for my health, last week I was sick. I feel it is part if my metamorphosis releasing that which no longer serves me. That sounds more exciting than a (potential) case of food poisoning, right?
I set my intentions for this glorious week.
-enjoy a party with first graders
-celebrate my Morgan's birthday
-finish the hat on my needles before the deadline
-try a new recipe
-brain storm my handmade holidays
-mail birthday cards and slippers
I am so amazed with my garden. I am still happily harvesting loads of veggies. I am grateful for the abundance. I love sharing the bounty with my neighbors. It's part of my plan to get everyone growing veggies.
I have been really exploring the question, Who am I? I don't know if it's because of my growing meditation practice or just celebrating my latest birthday that has really brought this to the forefront. Who am I? Do I accept the labels I am given or give myself? Mother, daughter, sister, wife, friend, knitter, gardener, soul searcher, goddess, woman, american, yogi…. all these are me but yet not me, not even when added together. So my intention is to explore this question in detail. I know I am bigger than the labels but who am I? I will explore the answer through self portrait, poetry and essays, that may or may not get shared. I plan to explore it and let go that which does not serve me. My journey for my new year, a journey without a destination.
I feel called to especially to think about how I was "shaped by my mom", I had read a bio in which the author said "and I was raised by a feminist". This struck because I define myself as a feminist, will it help or hinder my daughter as she grows up? And how did my did my mom shaped me, both nature and nurture. I think the mother child relationship is so important and lasting for better or worse. I really want my mother to participate too, but not sure how to ask. I don't want her to think this is I need therapy because you didn't get me a birthday cake one year because "we still have some left". (I was the third September birthday, and my very practical non cake eating self gets it but …) I want it to be a real deep introspection without blame, I believe I am exactly where I need to be. My life preparing me for the life lessons I need. I need to explore my habits and routines and see if they follow a family line. I know for a long time I said like many- I don't want to turn into my mother. Why did I say that? Why are our mothers made out to be the villain? Will I become the crazy mother-in-law? And if I find something in me that is reactionary and inherited can I change it?