shellebellecreates

back at it... reverb10:: things

I have been stewing on this one for almost two weeks now. 11 things I could do without. Initially I thought I am so content with everything I don't need to get rid of a thing. And then it hit me, I am a bit of a control freak. I am ready to loosen my grip because I have had a revelation: I am not a maid, I am not a short order cook and I am not the toilet paper fairy. I have been dreaming up the chore board that will be on full display and use on January 1. I am ready. I am ready to shed the idea that only I can do the laundry, dishes, cooking. I am not sure how it happened but one day I realized I was not sharing the joy of housekeeping. That was selfish of me. Very. I don't want my kids to not be able to feed themselves when they get older. I am pretty convinced that I am the only one who knows where the toilet paper is kept and the only one with the skill to place the toilet roll on a holder. I look forward to 2011 and sharing these fun tasks!

I also have many "things" that will be finding there way to Goodwill over this winter break. I have cute skirts that never get worn, tshirts, books along with some craft supplies. I am hoping the school will take a large donation of yarn and some small fabric scraps.

Not quite eleven but it will be wonderful to shed that which is no longer serving me. :-)

My goal is to really settle into our house this year. We have yet to hang anything on the walls. This year we will make it happen with things we love.

wisdom

A Wise Old Owl

A wise old owl lived in an oak

The more he saw the less he spoke

The less he spoke the more that he heard

Why can't we all be like that wise old bird?

-traditional nursery rhyme

reverb: letting go

I am not one for letting go, I don't know why I just find it hard. I must find comfort in old habits and bad experiences that I replay them in my head. When I first read the prompt I thought of a friend that I am no longer in contact with, I went bingo got one. And then it occurred to me that I have yet to fully let her go because I have a check from 3 years ago and I am still waiting to be told when I can cash it, knowing full well that she has long since forgotten her debt. Since I have no intention of calling her about it, why can't I throw it away? Am I  hoping to use it as proof of how I always felt in her presence, slightly used and taken advantage of? I thought about shredding the check last week but couldn't, I even thought of sending it to her. I don't know why I just can't let it go. 

I will work harder in 2011 to let go. Forgive and move on. I know it will do me wonders. 

reverb: wonder

"It is a wholesome and necessary thing for us to turn again to the earth and in the contemplation of her beauties to know the sense of wonder and humility. " 

— Rachel Carson 

I cultivate my sense of wonder by slowing down and being present in the moment and believing in miracles.

One Moment

When I work in my garden I feel alive. I feel the wind and the sun and sometimes the rain. I feel the earth. I feel my muscles work carrying water or digging up weeds. I love the smell after the rain how it takes me back to summer camp. The smell of a tomato plant when you touch it to me is the smell of summer. I feel alive as I nurture my plants into a harvest I will eat to stay alive. 

Prompt: writing

 

Writing is hard for me, I may be scarred from my senior year of high school and this dopey teacher who told us how awful we all wrote. I cannot remember much instruction from him on how to fix said terrible writing habits just the rants. He was very passionate in his speeches, he had this vein that popped out of his forehead and he would get all red in the face. Mr. G could really put on a show.  Now what keeps me from writing is thinking I am a terrible writer and I like to back that up with my  blog reading and comparison. Nothing like comparison to keep me stuck thinking, why should I write I am not good at it, my life is boring, and she is so amazing. This comparison voice is small and powerful, it is not shouting it's message. I am not dwelling in it, just whispers that creep in when I am weak. Maybe a bad nights sleep or the kids are fighting and I use the internet as a tool to numb the moment. That's when it creeps in when I am not centered and balanced. I have known of my affliction with comparison and am unable to start the prescribed treatment. The treatment starts cold turkey I must  stop reading blogs for a period of time.  During this period I must actually write something, practice because no one is born a writer. And finally acceptance of who I am and love my own gifts and talents that I have to offer. I think when I can recognize my contribution, I will be able to read other's blogs as stories and inspiration and not use them to belittle myself. 

Being centered is key to stopping my inner critics and my being stuck. I have been working on keeping myself centered and strong. When I am centered everything goes smoothly. Even the hard stuff is easier to handle. I have practiced yoga for years mostly at home. This fall I started going to yoga  to make sure I was doing it right and get my asanas corrected. I am now addicted to the group classes they push me farther and challenge me more than I ever would. I feel like I am flying when I get out knowing I did it! I know it is making more confident and sure of myself in ways I did not imagine. This has led me to sign up for pilates reformer classes and to think again about the Danskin triathlon in 2011. I feel like I can do anything, even if like in class I fall over I know I just have to try again.